Coming soon to a rap video near you, these $19,000 shoelaces by Mr. Kennedy are made from solid woven gold. They're limited to 10 sets, include hand-delivery and lacing anywhere in the world, are crafted in a Colombian sweatshop using "ancient, artisan jewelry techniques" and take over 120 hours to produce. $19,000 a little out of your shoelace budget? No worries, they're also selling 30 sets of silver ones for a paltry $3,000. Me? I'm on more of a bronze shoelace kind of budget. "Your shoes have holes in them." It's not polite to call a person poor you know. "Your shoelaces are twist-ties!" Okay now you're just being hateful.
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