Sports Car, Distillery And Hunting Lodge Air Fresheners

This is a line of spray air fresheners from Archer that could make even a lady's powder room smell like somewhere a real manly man (like myself) would want to hang. The $14 sprays come in three scents: European Sports Car, Distillery, and Hunting Lodge. A brief description of each while I try to wash the perfume samples I found In Cosmo off my chest.

European Sports Carworn leather, excessive horse power, and a hint of aftershave. Bold, handsome, and perhaps a little overconfident at 140 MPH
Distillery
charred oak, sour mash, and enough bourbon to kill an elephant. warm and inviting, but what isn't at 80 proof?
Hunting Lodge
hearth stone, gun powder and damp timber. It smells just like it did 120 years ago, because it hasn't changed in 120 years. Other than the flatscreen and microwave

I already smell like a distillery aside, I thought these were body sprays at first. They're not though -- they're air fresheners. But is that gonna stop me from spraying myself down with the stuff and strutting around like the manliest man to pee sitting down? It is not.

Thanks to Viscouse, who likes to smell like cotton candy, beer and insecticide like a REAL man.