Hospitals: they're terrifying. I can't even remember being in one as a child but probably because I've completely blocked out those memories along with the one of me pooping my pants while jumping on a tractor tire on the playground in kindergarten. Just kidding, that one will haunt me for life. I had to ask the teacher permission to go to the bathroom after the deed was already done, then took off towards the building using one hand to hold the load up in the back of my shorts so it wouldn't fall out. To this day I can still close my eyes and hear her and my classmates laughing while I ran, tears streaming. This is the new and improved pirate-themed CAT scan room at the New York-Presbyterian Morgan Stanley Children's Hospital (or NYPMSCH for short but still pretty long).
"There aren't scary pirates -- there's a pussycat pirate and one that looks like Curious George," says Dr. Carrie Ruzal-Shapiro, chief of Pediatric Radiology. "The parents have been really positive too. It makes it less scarier for the kids."
"Kids who are sick know so many ways of distancing themselves from what is going on physically," says [Registered Nurse Naomi] Hawkins. "Much more than grown-ups do. I mean, we pay for yoga, it doesn't work. We're told if you can meditate you're smarter -- the children are the smartest."
It's true, children are the smartest. You might think adults are the smartest, but that's just your stupid getting in the way. The smartest person I know? Me. The second smartest? A kid. "Which one?" Uhhhhhh *pointing* that one -- that one over there. "That's a doll." You trying to say she's smarter than me?!
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